WOW.

How do you screw up parking this bad?

Can’t help but laugh at this.

But imagine coming out to your whip and it looked like it had just been stomped out by Megatron.

So now that you’ve watched it, who do you think was driving?

What the hell do you think they were doing!?

Irony (as told by Romantic Comedy)

Have you ever noticed how most people tend to hurt the very cause they claim to support? Or do you ever feel like your stranded on an island and it seems impossible for you to reach anybody even though the people you would most want to be there are there, stranded right there with you?

Do you sometimes wake up and know that you are definitely not where you were when you fell asleep?

Anyway…

One time I ordered a pizza to my house and probably not ten minutes later left to go out. Like out, out…on my way to Armory. It was a Thursday and Rachael called unexpectedly and said she was getting out of work late and I should meet her for drinks. I was nearly broke – except for $40. Twenty dollars for food and twenty dollars for gas was all I had, but now I was just wondering if I had enough gas to get there and was $40 enough to go have “drinks,” and not look like a bum? I knew it wouldn’t last long and I don’t own plastic, but still, I was like

“Yeah def. Definitely.”

Idiot!

So now I’m scrambling around, take a five minute shower, get dressed, spray cologne, fix the sheets on my mattress, but like I said, I was really nearly running out of gas so I finally decided to stop at the third station I pass – by the way – I’m not usually this frantic but Rachael’s tha girl of my dreams and I’m tragically in love with someone who don’t love me back – she just wants to be friends, I think what we have is magic.

On the way into the gas station I saw this beamer with one of those lit up signs that said it was deliverin’ pizzas. I never thought twice about my own pizza just curiously laughed at the fact that some dude was workin’ that job with a car nice as that! I just went in, prepaid for my gas, bought a couple lottery tickets and asked for a packet of matches for a massive joint I had in my back pocket (I thought I might take a few puffs on my way from the parking lot to the bar). So I headed back out, hopped on the chopper and shredded my way out, without ever pumping my gas…

Just before I left, my phone was ringin’ – it was Steve callin this time (sadly I knew without looking, grown man with different ring-tones for each friend on the line). Devan had already called, they live together on the corner of Dangerous Minds and Hoop Dreams – they’re like “yo, we’re gonna get stoned and to go watch a movie. You in?”

Kids

So now I run out of gas at the first highway off ramp, irritated, embarrassed and once again stranded. I didn’t dare call Rachael and tell her what happened but I knew I should call her and make up some crap! Instead I called my friend Ted, he lives the closest – luckily he was home and my tank don’t take much to fill so he showed up in minute and put five gallons in it. I thanked him a bunch – said I felt like a schmuck – he said “no sweat” but, “dude you owe me twelve bucks.” I didn’t dare tell Ted I failed to fill up at the station where I’d already paid so I gave him a ten and two ones. Now I’ve got thirteen dollars and I’m not liking this omen, my friend has just helped me and I feel like he’s stolen one drink from each of us, me and my golden haired woman.

Now I’m back on my way but where do I go? I haven’t made it that far so I think I better go get my money back from the man at the counter and hope that it isn’t a hassle, I mean it’s not like I drove off without paying, right? So I go as fast as I can while still being safe and run in (explaining quickly my aloof foolishness) and get the money back simply with no complaint from the gentleman at the kwik-e. Ironically, in the mart, I again see that damn delivery dude and this time I remember my pizza and I’m like “oh shit!!” – and I dip and I move – I’m scrambling again, awkward and faster, like I know that he knows I’m the man that he’s after! I knock over a Reeses Peanut Butter Cups display box, it don’t even matter, I just keep on moving like I don’t know I’ve got a date with disaster…

A few minutes later seems like an hour but I make it to the bar where there’s his radiant flower, and she leans towards me when she sees me and I kiss her cheek like the sun does and we both seem to blossom as we share the power of the planets revolving around us. We laugh and we talk and I love to listen, admittedly sometimes I don’t hear I just watch her lips glisten. I think “damn, if those lips could talk!”…she’s got me delirious, I don’t even know what I’m missin – I’m just lost in my vision of our lifetime of chillin. An hour goes by in just a few minutes and she’s loosened up now she’s got something to tell me. She seems so excited and, I can’t lie, I’m doin’ pretty good too, I mean she’s only had one drink and I made up some excuse but how I’d been sick, on antibiotics, too – so I couldn’t drink…not even one or two.

So I’m not even drinking but you’d never know, I’m slurring my words and I’m giving her those cheesy nice guy compliments, waiting for her to tell me we’re more than just friends and right when I think she’s fallin’ again she gets a call from some dude and it sounds like they’ve been talking for a while – I can tell by the sound of her voice and the size of her smile. I’m trying to size him up from what she cutely improvises, teasing him and me both with her acute tantalizing, it’s clear that she digs him and I already despise him for delivering the heartbreak that should be no surprise – I mean Rachael’s just my friend, I’ve never been more in her eyes.

She gets off the phone and tells me the news, “his name is Marcus, he’s a leo” (but I think he’s a cancer) “…he’s a lover, a dancer, and ooh, he went to Harvard!” He’s “a hard worker,” she says, “and a good boy to his mother…his parents own several restaurants and do pretty well but he chooses to work and to pay his own bills. His father drives this light green Lamborghini, he handles sales for his parents’ three pizzerias, but he doesn’t want to be viewed as some ‘uppity yuppy’ so he actually delivers pizzas on Thursdays and Mondays.

Right then my heart seized, felt the knife cut me and twisting the blade she unknowingly, yet boldly continued her ironic praise of him – and all I could of think is how I asked for this mess; I ordered the pizza, I told her yes when she asked me to meet her for drinks when every single time I wind up leaving depressed. I ran out of gas because I was chasing a past that never happened, trying to fill up my glass so it can be at least half empty, I’m pathetic with class. I’m a real nice guy and I’m good to my mother, I clean up pretty well and I have to work to pay for my bills. If it wasn’t for this story-telling you might consider me your average white male feeling bad for myself.

You see this is all I’ve ever known, I was made to do this, sharing experience and wisdom through stories I’ve written – and the moral of this story is you get what you’re wishing, so don’t be ordering yourself a deep dish of depression. There’s so much variety in the sea you can always go fishing for another, though at first it’s gonna be different – your gonna learn to love again, and its so much better when the poem your spittin, just like the person your kissing, is meeting your lips giving back the same passion that you’re puttin’ in it.

The Thornton brothers leak another crack track (pun intended) off ‘Till The Casket Drops featuring Killa Cam. Malice hits it out of the park as usual.

Album now coming on December 8th.

Literary pioneer here
Modern-day Shakespeare;
Reincarnation of Dante;
Rebirth of Voltaire;

Click here for more of “Tha Birth of Lit-Hop”

Yo much love to Cedric Bolton and all of Verbal Blend for producing last night’s slam!

and of course, respect to the winner, Tai “Brown Crayon” Brown…and to all the poets who participated!!!!!!

Major shout out to Aaron “FaSho” Hudson for holdin down like he always do as host. Truly, Aaron is tha perfect host… keep that in mind y’all if you need someone who can entertain while stickin to a program…

I tried hittin ‘em with Poe in tha second round, but the crowd was feeling the more urban flow and the ooh and ahhh factor was big. But my stubborn inner poet thought I could break thru with somethin classically inspired…but live and learn, right??? lol

Well be good peeps, mad new poetry coming soon…I’m out 4 now

MTP aka Lyrically Sound